The last year has been one that has been hurtful, devastating, strange and ultimately rewarding. I have lost, gained lost and gained again important friendships. Which leads me to this entry.
After my marriage ended, I was in no shape for dating. However, after some pushing, I decided to give online dating a try. So, the first person that contacts me I end up dating. I thought she was the best thing ever. Then I realized that she had more baggage than I and I was thinking with the little brain and not the big one. I was not sure how to end it. things had gotten weird and strained and I know that I was not long for the relationship.
So, enter an ex girlfriend that I had ended things with pretty badly with 18 years prior. I find an opportunity with her and end it with the former. Things are looking up. It was like 18 years and bad things never occurred. Then you start spending time with someone and see how their life is and how they handle everyday things. You also get a view into habits that are detrimental to their lives. I gotta get. So, I end that relationship, again.
I decide that all I want to do is date. No relationship. Just go on a ton of dates and get to know people. What better way to that than online dating again! I signed up. Started getting matches sent and seeing all of the garbage and looking for a gem. Out of the blue, I start having a young lady sending me questions. this leads to messages, which leads to texts, which leads to checking out each others Facebook pages and culminating in a four (4) hour phone call. We then set a date. Now, I have never been known to be all that confident with the ladies. So much so, that my 5 year old son was willing to play pimp to set me up with an after schiool camp counselor of his. Pathetic, I know.
With a new sense of bravado I say this go out Friday night. She agrees. Then, I say if the date Friday goes well, let's see each other Saturday. She agrees again. Well, Friday night comes. We meet for dinner. I give her flowers and we have a 4 four dinner and about 45 minutes in the parking lot. I ask her if we are on for Saturday and she agrees. Dinner again and a session on the bench on the pier at the beach. Another long date. So, she asks me on a date for Sunday. Of course I agree.
Off to the Angels game we go. After the game we decide to catch a movie. After the movie, we catch the sunset at the beach. After that we get dinner and spend more time talking in the parking lot. Holy shit! Three days in a row. Never for me. This girl is awesome. We even went out in the middle of the week. I never do that.
I had to take stock of what was happening here. I wanted to date. But, I found this ridiculously great woman who seems t really like me. She has a job, no baggage, is beautiful, has a great personality, loves baseball, foot ball and hockey. It becomes abundantly clear that I have hit the jackpot and that I really have to make sure that I do not fuck this thing up and lose out on her. Well, she likes pretty much too. I see this going far.
Being 40, I had realized that I do not like being alone. I also realized that I like being in a relationship. It makes me feel worthy and needed. Psycho? Maybe. However, I need stability and this young lady provides that. I am happy and my future looks far less dark than just a few months back. So, the dating thing? Oh, I do it....just with one special girl. I thank her quite often for sending me 3 little questions.
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