Growing up, I read anything I could my hands on, newspapers, books, cereal boxes and magazines. I have had an affinity for magazines for years. I have had subscriptions to so many magazines, such as Pro Wrestling Illustrated, Playboy (yes, I read the articles), Sports Illustrated, Hit Parader, Creem (music), Circus and Rolling Stone. Rolling Stone was the adult magazine. It had the music and politics that made me feel somewhat smart after reading about guys in made up feuds beating the ever loving shit out of each other.
A while back, I was listening to my favorite radio program, PMS. This is a Fox Sports Radio Show with former USC Trojan running back (poor guy) Petros Papadakis and Matt "Money" Smith. Money was once the "Sports Guy" on KROQ for the Kevin and Bean Show, taking over for some putz named Jimmy Kimmel. Matt was an executive in the music industry prior to K&B. Anyway, he was relating a story of how he was infatuated with Rolling Stone. He loved the magazine until one day he got the latest issue in the mail. Who was on the cover? Actress (hard for me to label her as such) sometime comedienne and Jim Carey's punch-board, Jenny McCarthy. The cover story was a fluff piece. After finishing the read, Matt immediately called RS and canceled his subscription because he felt that the magazine had lost it's way.
I have been a subscriber for about 5 years now. I have now seen the light that Matt once saw. Here are a few nuggets that have made me question my need for the magazine. Since 2007 the following have graced the cover of this once iconic magazine: Fall Out Boy, Panic at the Disco, Brittney Spears (twice), The Hills (!), Jonas Bros (twice), Gossip Girl (!!), Lady Gaga and Adam Lambert. FOB and PATD are emo crap that I hope has died. Brittney Spears puts out awful dance music that gay clubs in West Hollywood won't even play. Bitch needs to quit lip synching her shows that parents spend $90.00 to take their daughters to. The Hills.......WHAT IN THE FUCK! Gossip Girl......>WHAT IN THE FUCK! Jonas Bros. Does anyone over the age of 14 listen to them? I cannot even begin to think that these cheesedicks will be around without a Disney contract in 5 years. Taylor Swift appears to have mesmerized the MTV crowd with here ah shucks candy coated crud. Lady Gaga. More like Lady Caca. Poker face? Looks like some tried to put a fire out on her face with a fire place poker. And Adam Lambert. How in the fuck do you get a cover for not doing anything but losing to some plain vanilla fucker on American Idol? So what he is gay. Whoopdy fartin doo. He still hasn't done shit in music. That song for 2012, pure shit in the legendary words of Gordon Ramsay.
They put Obama on the cover 5 times in 2 years and it wasn't to mock him like they did the Bush. They really lost me recently. Madonna was on the cover. Basically, the article was a ball washer for her. they kissed her ass for being another "legend" that hasn't done anything in 15 years worth a turd. They finally put Metal God Lemmy Kilmister of Motorhead in the rag with a pretty lengthy story. Too bad the story was a rehashing of his autobiography "White Line Fever". The author constantly referred to that book during the article. I was psyched to see him paid some mention but the story just blew monkeys. Boooooooooooooooooooo!
My last bitch is the music reviews. I do not believe that I have seen any album, no matter how horrible, get less than 2 stars out of 5. David Fricke, a well respected journalist does most of the big reviews. I swear that U2 and Springsteen have never made a bad album in their career. This guy ball washes them incessantly. If Bono put out a recording of himself prepping for a colonoscopy (imagine the sounds) Fricke would lend it some sort of artistic credence. If a disk sucks, just come out and say it. FUCK! Come renewal time, I may have to pass. I just cannot handle any more shitty young actors and "artists" that just have no business of getting blown up for having done nothing to deserve it.
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